Dear Nancy, 

Last night was the State of the Union Address and it was obvious by the look on your face, you were struggling with what the President was saying but we need to work on your communication. It’s time to #RaiseTheBar.  

I know it must be challenging to be one of the pioneer women in high ranking politics. There is a lot of scrutiny in leadership, especially in the political arena and I’m sure being the first woman to hold such an influential office, adds to the pressure. This notable achievement comes with a price because the world is watching, America is watching, and more importantly, #TheChildrenAreWatching. Young men and women are formulating their opinions on how they will act when they move into leadership and political roles. They are watching your actions and behavior to assess an acceptable baseline for the future. You are in a pivotal position to write on the slates of their minds as they decide what kind of adults and leaders they will become. It’s time to #RaiseTheBar.

I understand that it can be a good ol’ boys club and that some of those boys, aren’t so good. I also understand that you are not a fan of the President. The Impeachment Hearings were difficult to watch, and it unfortunately caused a great divide in the nation and opened our country to outside scrutiny which may have been greatly misguided. As a fellow woman leader, I understand you being concerned and upset by some things in the past and disappointed by things in the present, but isn’t it our job as women, as helpers, as public servants, and as leaders, to try to strengthen all those we come in contact with? Shouldn’t we provide them an opportunity to see our views, while we seek even harder to understand theirs?  It’s time to #RaiseTheBar.

[Tweet “Seek first to understand, then to be understood. – Stephen R. Covey”]

Many parents think of you as a role model for their girls saying, “If she can start her political career at 47 and become the most influential woman in the world, you must believe in yourself and reach for your dreams!” Women are needed in politics because they are able to see things differently than men do. Our vision and clarity are drawn from different experiences which makes both sides invaluable. This August will mark the 100-year anniversary of women being allowed to vote and look at how much has changed! You are the Speaker of the House, third in line to run this nation! That is something to be extremely proud of! It’s time to #RaiseTheBar.

But… with great power, comes great responsibility. 

There are few things in life that require more responsibility from us than becoming a parent. As the mother of 5 children, you had to become a master at leadership, conversation, counseling and conflict resolution, just to name a few. We need to exercise that same patience, understanding and determination in our political dealings as we do with our children when they are not complying with our requests. Our goal as parents is to teach them to RAISE their standards of acceptable behavior. It’s time to #RaiseTheBar. 

When they are toddlers, we show them the proper way to act and they learn by example. When they disobey, there are consequences, but we don’t stoop to their level of having tantrums, we guide them in the appropriate behavior.  It’s time to #RaiseTheBar.

When they are teens, we don’t use eye-rolling, sulking, and over-dramatized theatrics to make our points unless we ourselves are immature in our leadership role. We need to teach our children to use the Headspace Heroes like Empathy, Kindness, and Compassion when dealing with others, instead of the Bullies of Apathy, Sarcasm, and Judgement. We know they are exposed to that everywhere else they go and our job is to provide them with a stable environment that allows them to grow into the leaders we want them to be while helping them avoid getting sucked into the Sea of Mediocrity which will leave them lost and alone.  It’s time to #RaiseTheBar.

When they are adults, we are not always going to agree with them. Even when we are disappointed in their behavior, our job is to guide them and privately share our concerns. A mature parent doesn’t humiliate them by openly mocking them in public. We stand up to protect them from the constant barrage of insults and rude behavior carelessly used by others. What kind of commitment is that if we abandon those we are sworn to protect and leave them raw and emotionally exposed to the harsh world that wants to chew them up and spit them out in media sound bites? It’s time to #RaiseTheBar.

Sometimes the greatest example we can be for them, and the friends, relatives, neighbors and even strangers that are watching, is to be a quiet guard to them. Whispering in their ears, the ways of Integrity, hoping to drown out the fierce wails of Manipulation, Anger and Resentment that the opposition will try to use  against them. It’s time to #RaiseTheBar.

That doesn’t mean we should pretend we are in alignment on the issues of concern, but there is power in quiet Confidence instead of caving in to his immature twin brother Cockiness.  

[Tweet “Whether we Raise or Lower the bar of acceptable behavior, others will follow…” – Vicki Fitch”]

That means we are responsible not only for our own family but to those who see and watch our actions every day. As a public leader that is paid by the taxpayers, there is a responsibility to find Wisdom where there was once a lack of it. To show them that we can find Forgiveness, without expecting others to ask for it. That Grace is more powerful than Resentment and that the greatest gift we can give others is Hope. The Hope that no matter how things look to us, there is always another angle we can look at. Perspective allows us to embrace issues and find creative solutions for change.  It’s time to #RaiseTheBar.

You Madam Speaker, hold a position of power that is unmatched by any other woman here on this earth. Everyone is watching and you hold the key to the way others in politics will treat our President. You are the woman, future generations are depending on to show us proper decorum on the way to address the Leader of the Free World. They are waiting to see if you will teach them to #RaiseTheBar of expectation in the political arena. They want to know that you are capable of setting your differences with “the man” aside, and demonstrate to the world that a strong woman will not lower herself to childish behavior when she is annoyed. That she will be the example to the world of how to #RespectTheOffice. It’s time to #RaiseTheBar.

I want to thank you in advance for choosing to make future decisions that reflect the best version of yourself and to show the world that the political parties of the United States of America don’t always agree, but they do set the standards on how to take their partisan differences in stride without making a mockery of our great nation. It’s time to #RaiseTheBar.

You have the power to make lasting change in this world in the palm of your hand… more accurately in the tone of your voice, the curvature of your eyebrows and the micro (or not so micro) expressions on your face. Let’s show the world how to #RespectTheOffice so we can get back to the business of making positive changes in the world.  Let’s all live by a new creed… It’s time to #RaiseTheBar.

– A Fellow Female Leader

Until next time, 

Dream it, Believe it Achieve it – Vicki